Couples
Therapy
Do you feel disconnected from your partner?
Does it seem as if you are arguing more?
Have you observed an increase in conflicts and a decline in communication?
Does intimacy seem out of reach?
Have trust and security been declining?
Do you long for the moments when you felt cherished, admired, and loved?
Do unresolved issues resurface in the majority of arguments?
Navigating a relationship requires significant patience, effort, and communication from both individuals involved. A partnership with your significant other can be immensely rewarding and fulfilling. However, there may be moments when it feels frustrating, as if the relationship is at a standstill. Couples therapy serves as a secure space where partners can start addressing persistent issues. It becomes an opportunity for each individual to gain insight into their desired self and their expectations within the relationship. As both partners reflect on their individual roles, the significance of their reactions, and the meaning behind their behaviors, a foundation is laid for improved communication. This self-awareness fosters an environment where the couple can genuinely listen to each other and share those intimate, vulnerable moments.
Couples therapy is also known as couples counseling or marriage therapy. It's a form of psychotherapy that focuses on helping individuals in a romantic relationship to recognize and resolve conflicts. They'll also learn ways to improve communication and strengthen their connection. Couples therapy typically involves both partners attending sessions together. Individual sessions may also be included.
Why Do Couples Go to Couples Therapy?
While there are countless reasons a couple may decide to pursue therapy, these factors are frequently cited as the most common:
One or both partners feel disconnected in the relationship
They struggle to communicate amidst escalating conflict
Feelings of trust and security are no longer present
Emotional distance has caused a lack of intimacy
They’re stuck in a cycle of repeating unresolved issues
They feel the spark they once had has burned out
How Does Couples Therapy Create Lasting Change?
Couples therapy gives each partner, and the couple as a whole, the support they need to move forward with compassion and understanding. These are just a few ways therapy creates lasting change:
Couples Therapy provides a neutral, non-judgmental space to face challenges in a safe and protected setting.
It allows each partner to recognize their behavior patterns and acknowledge their role in maintaining them.
With the guidance of a couple's therapist, therapy encourages active, reflective listening. This leads to more open communication.
Couples Therapy equips partners with healthy de-escalation techniques. These techniques can help prevent arguments from going too far.
Key Objectives of Couples Therapy: Your Path to a Stronger Bond
Communication Improvement
Build stronger connections by mastering active listening and validation. Learn to set clear boundaries with "I" statements. Decipher non-verbal cues for profound, respectful communication.
Conflict Resolution
Navigate disagreements effectively. Discover how to identify core issues and use de-escalation techniques. Develop strategies for healthy, respectful solutions that strengthen your bond.
Building Connection & Intimacy
True intimacy thrives on vulnerability. We guide you in sharing your inner world and building trust through small, consistent gestures. This can foster a deep and resilient emotional and physical bond.
Addressing Individual Needs
We help each partner build a solid, flexible sense of self, which is vital for a strong relationship. By clarifying your individual identity, you can maintain your individuality. At the same time, you can stay authentically close and deeply connected with your partner.
Navigating Life Transitions
Life's major transitions can feel like a tailspin for a relationship. We provide compassionate guidance for couples navigating pivotal shifts. This can include parenthood, rediscovering each other in an empty nest, adapting to career changes or relocation, and managing chronic illness within the family. We help you adapt to new dynamics and find connection through every season of life.
Managing External Stress & Challenges
Outside pressures from work, finances, and extended family can profoundly impact your relationship. We help couples navigate these stressors, teaching you how to reduce reactivity. You'll also learn how to prevent external challenges from creating internal conflict. Together, this can foster a more resilient partnership.
Rebuilding Trust
When trust has been shattered by betrayal or deception, we guide you through the difficult and necessary healing process. We focus on accountability, genuine remorse, and consistent repair. This helps restore security and build a foundation for forgiveness and renewed connection.
Improving Intimacy
Beyond just physical connection, we help you explore all facets of intimacy. This includes emotional, intellectual, and spiritual closeness. We provide a safe space to break down stigma and share your desires. This allows you to build a more vibrant and holistic connection with your partner.
Setting Collaborative Goals
We help you and your partner align on a shared vision for the future. By breaking down long-term aspirations into manageable steps, we create short-term wins. This builds momentum and fuels your journey toward a brighter future together.
Promoting Equality and Respect
We help couples identify and rebalance power dynamics. We recognize that a partnership is less about a strict 50/50 split and more about leveraging individual strengths. By fostering a culture of mutual appreciation and shared responsibility, you can build a more respectful and equitable relationship.
Therapeutic Approaches to Couples Counseling at Maple Leaf Counseling
At Maple Leaf Counseling, our couples therapy approach is grounded in evidence-based methods tailored to meet your unique needs. We believe in providing you with tools and insights that lead to lasting change. Additionally, we aim to help you and your partner build a stronger, more resilient bond.
Differentiation-Based Therapy
Drawing inspiration from the work of Dr. David Schnarch, this approach focuses on differentiation. This is the profound ability to hold onto your own sense of self and your identity while staying emotionally connected to your partner. It's about finding the balance between "me" and "we." We help you learn to tolerate the intensity that comes with true intimacy and reduce your reactivity to one another. Instead of demanding your partner soothe your anxiety or meet your every need, you'll learn to "hold ground" and cultivate a solid self. A sense of inner security that frees you to love from a place of strength, not need. This work is about building a more authentic, passionate, and connected relationship.
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
EFT is a highly effective, research-backed therapy. It focuses on understanding the deep, underlying attachment needs that drive your relationship. Couples often get stuck in a negative cycle of communication, where one person pursues and the other withdraws. This approach helps you identify and interrupt this painful "dance," so you can both step out of the cycle of blame and hurt. We work to de-escalate conflict and help you express your deeper needs and fears. We also guide you in creating a new, more secure, and loving bond that can weather life's storms.
Gottman Method Couples Therapy
Based on decades of research into what makes relationships last, the Gottman Method provides you with practical, actionable tools. We focus on three core areas: building and strengthening your friendship, learning healthy and constructive ways to manage conflict, and creating shared meaning and purpose. Think of it as building a "Sound Relationship House." A sturdy framework with a strong foundation of trust and commitment. This method gives you concrete skills for communication, repairing after conflict, and cultivating admiration for each other. This can help you build a resilient partnership that can stand the test of time.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) in Couples Therapy
This compassionate approach helps both partners understand that each of us has different "parts" within us. Like a part that feels anxious, a part that is critical, or a part that wants to shut down. In couples work, we help you recognize your own parts and those of your partner. This shifts the focus from blaming ("You are so critical!") to understanding ("I see that my partner has a critical part that is trying to protect them"). By understanding these internal worlds, you can both communicate with more compassion and less reactivity. This promotes "self-leadership" within each individual. Leading to more authentic, healing, and heartfelt interactions with your partner.
Other Modalities Informing Our Work
Our therapists draw from a variety of powerful therapeutic approaches to create a personalized treatment plan for you. We often integrate principles from:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). These help you learn practical skills for emotional regulation and distress tolerance. They also show you how to manage difficult thoughts that may be impacting your relationship dynamics.
Psychodynamic Therapy. This approach helps us explore how past experiences and early relationship patterns currently influence your life. Such as your behaviors, reactions, and expectations in your partnership.
Family Systems and Bowen Family Systems Theory. These frameworks help us understand your relationship not in isolation, but rather within the broader context of your families of origin. Ultimately, this can reveal intergenerational patterns that may be contributing to current challenges.
Trauma-Informed Care. We recognize that past trauma can profoundly impact trust and intimacy. Our approach creates a safe space for couples to heal from these wounds. This fosters security and connection within the partnership.
What to Expect in Couples Therapy at Maple Leaf Counseling
Initial Steps: The Foundation of Your Journey
Your first few sessions are dedicated to creating a comprehensive and compassionate understanding of your unique relationship. Your therapist will take the time to hear your individual stories and understand what has brought you into therapy at this time. This is a collaborative conversation where you’ll share helpful insights. This may include the history of your relationship, the challenges you’re facing, and your hopes for the future. By gathering a thorough history, your therapist can begin to see the full picture. Understanding both your relationship dynamics and family backgrounds. This helps create a solid foundation for the work ahead.
The Role of Individual Sessions in Couples Therapy
Couples therapy typically involves both partners in the room. Your therapist will discuss if and when individual sessions may be beneficial. These are not about taking sides; they are about deepening the work for the couple’s benefit. A few individual sessions can provide a safe space for each person to explore personal patterns. At the same time, they can heal past wounds or address any shame and uncertainty that may be difficult to share in a joint session. This individual self-work is powerful. It helps each person show up more authentically and vulnerably in the couple's relationship. Ultimately, this can promote greater intimacy and understanding.
Collaboratively Setting Your Goals
In the final part of your initial sessions, you and your partner will work with your therapist together. You'll define what success looks like for your relationship. This is a crucial step where you’ll collaboratively establish clear, tangible goals to work towards. Whether it’s reducing conflict, rebuilding trust, or reigniting connection, your therapist will help you create a shared vision for the future of your relationship. Their goal is to ensure that the work is always aligned with what matters most to both of you.
The Role of Your Therapist: A Neutral Guide
In couples therapy, your therapist holds a distinct and powerful role. We are not here to take sides or decide who is "right" and who is "wrong." Our role is to maintain a truly neutral and non-judgmental position. We understand that every situation, every conflict, and every challenge has two valid perspectives. This allows us to provide balanced support and assist you in demonstrating more positive, acknowledging, and effective communication with each other.
A Guide and Educator
Your therapist acts as a compassionate guide and educator, helping you move from a place of confusion to clarity. We work to provide you with a deeper understanding of your unique relationship dynamics. The unspoken patterns, the hidden triggers, and the root causes behind your reactions. By bringing these cycles into the light, we can then equip you with tangible skills and tools. With them, you'll be able to make profound and lasting changes in your life and relationship.
Maintaining Safety and Boundaries
Above all, your therapist is committed to maintaining a consistently safe and secure space for both partners. This environment is built on mutual respect and clear boundaries. Ensuring each person feels a sense of psychological safety to be open and vulnerable. In our sessions, you can feel confident that you can explore difficult topics and share your deepest fears. You can express your emotions without fear of judgment, interruption, or escalation. This protected space is where the most courageous conversations—and the most meaningful healing—can truly begin.
Commitment from Both Partners
The most profound transformations in couples therapy are a direct result of a shared commitment from both partners. Consistent attendance at appointments is vital, as is a mutual willingness to engage with challenging topics, even when the conversation feels uncomfortable. This dedication to showing up for yourself and your relationship is what truly paves the way for lasting change. Helping you make significant strides in your personal lives and in your journey together.
Confidentiality in Couples Therapy
Confidentiality is a cornerstone of our work. To foster true transparency and build deep trust, we maintain a "no secrets" policy in couples therapy. This is crucial because it prevents a hidden dynamic from developing in the therapy room. It ensures your therapist can remain neutral and support the couple as a whole. If one partner shares a secret, the therapist will guide them on how to bring that information into the joint session. This process, which we'll discuss thoroughly in your first appointment, ensures a foundation of radical honesty. It also helps you build a strong, lasting connection.
Common Misconceptions About Couples Therapy
Couples therapy can sometimes be surrounded by myths and misunderstandings that might make it feel intimidating. Here, we address some of the most common misconceptions to help you feel more comfortable and confident in taking the first step.
"Couples therapy is only for relationships on the brink of divorce."
This is one of the most common and powerful myths. The truth is, couples therapy is for any couple at any stage of their relationship. While it is incredibly effective for partnerships in crisis, it is just as beneficial for couples seeking to enhance their connection and improve communication. Couples therapy can also help in navigating a major life transition or simply deepening an understanding of each other. Think of it as proactive care for your relationship, not just a last resort.
"The therapist will tell us who's right and who's wrong."
An experienced couples therapist will never take sides or act as a judge. Our role is to remain completely neutral. We understand that every situation has two valid perspectives. We are here to facilitate communication and help you understand the dynamic between you. We can also teach you how to listen and share without judgment. We help you move beyond the need to be "right" and focus on finding a way to move forward together.
"It’s just about blaming each other."
Partners may initially come into therapy feeling blamed or ready to blame. Yet, the core work of couples therapy is to move away from this dynamic. Our focus is on identifying the negative patterns and cycles that you both get stuck in. We help you understand your individual contributions to these cycles with compassion. Shifting the focus from "who is at fault?" to "what is happening between us and how can we change it?"
"Therapy is a quick fix."
Couples therapy is a process, not a quick fix. You may have spent years building the habits and dynamics that are now causing distress. It takes time and consistent effort to build new, healthier ones. You may feel some relief after the first few sessions. However, lasting change requires a commitment to showing up and practicing new skills both in and out of the therapy room. While the work is challenging, the results are profoundly rewarding.
"We just need to talk more."
While talking is a vital component of a relationship, the quality of communication matters more than the quantity. Couples often talk at each other without truly listening or understanding. In therapy, we don't just encourage more talking; we teach you how to talk differently. You'll learn to express your needs, listen with empathy, and communicate with vulnerability and respect. In turn, transforming your conversations from arguments into meaningful dialogues.
"The therapist will fix my partner."
This is a common hope when one person feels frustrated with the other. However, a therapist cannot "fix" anyone. We work with the relationship as a whole. This means each partner is an active participant in the process. The growth and changes you make are a result of your own work and commitment. Our job is to guide you and provide the tools, though the willingness to use them belongs to both of you.
Why Choose Maple Leaf Counseling for Your Relationship Journey?
At Maple Leaf Counseling, we believe that your relationship journey is deeply personal. We are committed to providing a compassionate and empowering environment for you to navigate it. We offer more than just therapy. We offer a supportive partnership grounded in our core philosophy and unique strengths:
Our Guiding Philosophy. We are passionate about helping clients find a solid sense of self while staying emotionally connected to their partners. Our core belief is that when you truly get to know yourself on a deeper level, you gain the clarity and courage to live the life you choose. This can fundamentally transform your relationship for the better.
An Experienced and Diverse Team. Our team includes me and a group of skilled therapists, each with a passion for helping couples. We bring a diverse range of expertise in various areas. These include trauma, ADHD, autism, chronic illness, and perinatal/postpartum care. We recognize that these individual issues often impact the health of your partnership.
Flexible and Accessible Care. We understand that convenience matters. You can access our services in person at our beautiful brick-and-mortar offices in Arcadia and Claremont, CA. Or you can connect with us through the convenience of virtual sessions from anywhere in California.
A Warm, Collaborative Environment. Our practice is built on the foundation of providing a supportive, non-judgmental, and welcoming atmosphere. We work with you as a collaborative team, creating a space where you feel safe enough to explore your most vulnerable moments. Our goal is to help build a path forward together.
Resilience and Dedication. It might be interesting to know that several of our therapists, including me, are former collegiate athletes. This background has instilled in us a deep understanding of resilience, teamwork, and commitment. We bring these qualities to our work every day.
Navigate Complex Relationship Dynamics Through Couples Therapy in Arcadia, CA
Taking the first steps towards finding support to heal, change, and grow takes courage. Whether you are ready to schedule a session or you are still deciding if couples therapy is for you, we encourage you to reach out to our team at Maple Leaf Counseling. We would be happy to answer any questions you may have and to discuss options with you.
To make sure we are a good fit, we can provide a free 20-minute consultation.
Then, you can start working with one of our dedicated couples therapists in Arcadia, CA.
Achieve open, empathetic communication in your relationship through tools and skills learned in therapy.
Other Services Maple Leaf Counseling Provides In-Person & Online In California
If you and your partner are struggling to connect and find yourselves in a frequent state of conflict, couples therapy may be the solution you’ve been looking for. Whether you struggle with communication or can’t seem to move past recurring issues, our therapists can help guide your relationship toward peace. At Maple Leaf Counseling, we provide a variety of other therapy services online or in-person at our Arcadia and Claremont offices. In addition to couples counseling, we offer child therapy, teen therapy, and individual therapy for adults. We also provide counseling for those dealing with grief or chronic illness, and support those facing perinatal or postpartum challenges. To learn more about us, our team, and the services we offer, we encourage you to explore our mental health blog and FAQ page. When you’re ready to start your personal therapeutic journey, we welcome you to reach out.
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Mentaya
We have partnered with Mentaya to help clients use their out-of-network benefits to save money on therapy. Use this tool below to see if you qualify for reimbursement for my services.
Here's how it works:
1. Sign up for Mentaya: https://mentaya.co/inviteclient/mapleleafcounseling
2. Our practice will enter your sessions into the platform.
3. Mentaya submits the claim and handles any insurance follow-up.
4. You get reimbursed by insurance!
Mentaya charges a 5% fee per claim, which includes handling any paperwork required, dealing with denials, and calling insurance companies.