Narcissists in Relationships: How They Behave and What to Watch For
Relationships are beautiful and complex, filled with mutual respect, shared experiences, and emotional development. However, this facade can swiftly come undone for those who are enmeshed with a narcissist. A narcissist is someone with a personality condition that significantly affects how they interact with the outside world.
And, most importantly, with people in peer or romantic relationships. It goes well beyond self-admiration, affecting those around them by weakening them. Whether through couples therapy or self-education, it is essential to understand and recognize the signals, actions, and lasting consequences of being in a relationship with a narcissist.
The Beginning: The "Love Bombing" Phase
Relationships with narcissists frequently begin happy and perfect. They show a strong concentration on you and are pleasant and charismatic. This first phase, described as "love bombing," is to impress you. They will lavish you with extravagant gestures and compliments, claiming that you are "the one."
This is to swiftly establish a strong emotional connection and make you reliant on their approval. It is not true affection. It can be challenging to recognize the warning signs that lurk just beneath the surface, especially when they are perfectly satisfying your emotional needs and mirroring your desires.
The Mask Slips: The Shift to Devaluation
The mask starts to come off after they are certain that your love is secure. It makes a turn from a lovely “prince/princess" you fell in love with to someone critical, demanding, and emotionally unavailable. The devaluation phase begins with this change. Subtle at first, then not-so-subtle judgments and criticisms about your appearance, friends, career, or opinions take the place of the once-constant praise.
This is a strategy our Arcadia therapy practice often uncovers during counseling sessions. It’s a targeted attack on your confidence and aims to increase your dependence on their approval. They might make negative comparisons to other people or even to the person you were before the relationship began.
Key Narcissistic Behaviors to Watch For
As the relationship progresses, a series of predictable and damaging behaviors will emerge. These are not isolated incidents but part of a systematic pattern aimed at controlling and manipulating.
Lack of Empathy
The incapacity to truly comprehend or experience another person's emotions is a sign of narcissistic personality disorder. They might give a flimsy apology, but it's usually a premeditated tactic to diffuse a heated argument rather than a genuine act of regret. It's an inconvenience; your pain is not their pain.
Gaslighting
This is one of the most damaging types of psychological abuse. This action of making you doubt your own sanity, memory, and reality perception is known as gaslighting. Narcissists typically use phrases like "That never happened," "You're too sensitive," or "You're imagining things."
A narcissist might cause you to question your own abilities and judgment. This can eventually cause extreme anxiety, bewilderment, and a breakdown of self-confidence. The lasting change in how you view yourself can often be debilitating.
Controlling and Manipulative Behavior
Control is necessary for a narcissist. They will control what you can do, who you can see, and even your thoughts. To get what they want, they resort to threats, passive-aggressive remarks, or guilt trips. Their urge to hold onto power and a sense of superiority is what drives them to exert control.
Grandiose Sense of Self-Importance
An exaggerated ego lies at the core of narcissistic conduct. They believe they are exceptional, one-of-a-kind, and worthy of respect and preferential treatment. They frequently overstate their accomplishments and demand respect. Even when their behavior doesn't merit it.
Emotional Blackmail and Triangulation
To obtain what they want, they could employ emotional intimidation. This may include making threats to leave or hurt themselves. They also commonly use "triangulation, " a toxic relationship tactic. This is when they involve a third party (a friend, family member, or ex) in a dispute. It allows them to incite envy, support their stance, or instill feelings of insecurity.
The Toll on Your Mental and Emotional Health
Being in a relationship with a narcissist is emotionally and psychologically exhausting. Over time, the constant criticism, emotional manipulation, and invalidation can lead to mental health issues, including:
● Anxiety and Depression: The constant state of walking on eggshells. A roller coaster of emotions can lead to chronic anxiety and feelings of hopelessness.
● Erosion of Self-Worth: The constant criticism and gaslighting from the narcissist will make you doubt your own self-worth and capabilities.
● Social Isolation: A narcissist will try to isolate you from your friends and family. This makes you more dependent on them and their approval.
● Codependency: You may find yourself becoming codependent. Putting their needs and emotions before your own in a desperate attempt to gain their affection.
Breaking Free and Healing
Recognizing these patterns is the first and most critical step. Although it is a challenging process, it is completely possible to recover from a narcissistic relationship. It entails establishing clear limits. Realizing that their actions are a reflection of their own faults rather than your value. And, asking for help from trusted friends, support groups, and compassionate couples therapists.
Empathy, trust, and respect for one another are the keys to love. It might be time to put your own needs first and leave the maze if your relationship is a never-ending struggle for your own reality and a drain on your emotional reserves. Your worth is not defined by their validation. You deserve a love that uplifts you, not one that systematically tears you down.
If you’re looking for clarity and guidance in your relationship, we invite you to give us a call at (626) 214-8384 or email us at info@mapleleafcounseling.org to find out how we can support you.
Heal from Narcissistic Patterns with Couples Therapy in Arcadia, CA
Being in a relationship with a narcissistic partner can leave you feeling confused, unheard, and emotionally drained. Couples therapy offers a supportive and nonjudgmental space to untangle manipulative dynamics, set healthy boundaries, and rediscover your sense of self-worth. Whether you’re trying to repair your relationship or heal from the effects of emotional abuse, working with a skilled therapist can help you find clarity and empowerment.
At Maple Leaf Counseling, we provide both in-person sessions in Arcadia and Claremont and online counseling, making it easy to access the help you need. Here’s how to get started:
Discuss your relationship concerns and therapy goals during your free 20-minute consultation.
Work with an experienced couples therapist in Arcadia who understands the complexities of narcissistic relationships.
Learn practical tools and strategies to rebuild confidence, improve communication, and create emotionally healthy connections.
You don’t have to navigate the effects of narcissistic behavior alone. Couples therapy can help you break unhealthy patterns, strengthen self-awareness, and move toward relationships grounded in respect and authenticity.
Other Services Maple Leaf Counseling Provides in Arcadia, CA
Recognizing and recovering from narcissistic relationship patterns can be emotionally exhausting, but you don’t have to do it alone. Couples therapy provides a safe and structured environment to help you understand these dynamics, rebuild your confidence, and learn how to create healthier boundaries and communication habits.
At Maple Leaf Counseling, we understand that relationship challenges often stem from deeper emotional struggles. That’s why we offer a variety of therapeutic services designed to meet clients where they are. In addition to couples counseling, we provide individual therapy for adults, as well as therapy for teens and children. Our clinicians also specialize in supporting those dealing with grief, chronic illness, perinatal and postpartum challenges, and other major life changes that impact emotional well-being. All sessions are available in-person at our Arcadia and Claremont offices or through secure online therapy for added flexibility.
To learn more about our practice and how our team of therapists can support you, we invite you to explore our mental health blog, visit our FAQ page, or reach out directly. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn for helpful insights and resources. Whether you’re healing from a narcissistic relationship, working to strengthen your partnership, or focusing on personal growth, we’re here to guide you toward lasting change and emotional freedom.
About the Author
Amanda Anies, Clinic Coordinator at Maple Leaf Counseling, is often the first friendly voice clients hear when beginning their therapy journey. She understands that starting counseling can feel intimidating, so she strives to make every client’s experience smooth and welcoming. With a background in psychology and experience working with children, Amanda brings patience, empathy, and attentiveness to her role. Her passion for supporting both individuals and couples aligns with Maple Leaf’s mission to create a warm, accessible space for healing and personal growth—values especially relevant to those seeking clarity and emotional support in relationships impacted by narcissistic dynamics.